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All films now showing at the Meadow Park Multiplex 
(God forbid that should ever happen)

1. O Brother, Where Art Thou? - A moving tale of mixed fortunes as the younger brother Thorne contemplates his older sibling's terrible exile in a strange and terrifying foreign land of idiots. You long for the two to be reunited nearer their home where their combined talents could achieve great things...
2. Scary Movie - A true horror flick investigating one man's aversion to the high cross. All manner of shocks and surprises. You'll be gripping your seat as things get even worse for our poor hero, even when you didn't dream it possibly could.
3. The Addiction - dull but worthy documentary as poor befuddled non-league football fans try to explain the craving for victory which takes them to far flung outposts of the West Midlands.
4. Brief Encounter - A real weepy as an ambitious group of young men learn the harsh realities of life in less glamorous surroundings than those they are used to. Finally they over come adversity and escape what they mysteriously refer to as 'The Western'.
5. The Cell - disappointingly predictable tale as past-it star Sam Bowen's life falls apart following the loss of the one brain cell he'd so long relied upon. Contains repeated scenes of graphic violence and use of adult language from the start.
6. Chicken Run - Fun for all the family as claymation comes to Derbyshire. You'll hoot as a load of clueless chickens run around trying to find their way out of the dreary Gresley prison camp.
7. The Luzhin Defence - A Russian chess master adapts his tactics for the football pitch and persuades a secret agent to use the new system to send coded messages through his team's tactics. Laugh at the confused British football fans bemused by the strange defensive goings-on, little knowing their side's manager is actually a KGB spy and those missed headers carry details on army maneuvers for the Russians watching by satellite.
8. The Exterminating Angel - By day he is a gentle caring man, but he pulls on that number three shirt and enters a cold dark inner world of thinly veiled violence and menace.
9. Liberty Heights - Real-life coming of age drama as City's young defence critically examine the acres of open space afforded to those competing for the high ball.
10. X-Men - Comic book adaptation featuring Grantley Dicks as the incredible swearing man. You'll be amazed as he reduces referees to rubble with his verbal tirades.
11. The Perfect Storm - One for older viewers recalling the magic moments at Folkestone in 1989 when a group of chancers ghosted into the 1st Round of the FA Cup with the help of the back-end of a hurricane. Starring the weathered good-looks of one Brian Godfrey as 'The Guvnor'.
12. Magnolia - Unlikely hit film focusing around the need for calming colours painted on the walls of the dressing room. About as gripping as watching it dry.
13. Keeping the Faith - Fan to Fan plea. Heart-rending drama as crowds drop and supporters resort to kidnap to bump up attendances. The soundtrack includes sentimental favourites 'Don't Leave Me This Way' and 'Please Don't Go'.
14. The Insider - Machiavellian duplicity from the Boardroom as more secrets leak out to the fans and the papers. Long drawn out tale of intrigue and suspense. Will the truth ever out? Is the 'insider' reliable or is he a double-agent?
15. The Sixth Sense - That feeling of impending doom, the feeling that the other side is going to score, that the referee won't give the penalty, that there is a plot to undermine your football club. Some call it paranoia, but what have they done to earn your trust?
16. There's Only One Jimmy Grimble - You'll leave with only one question unanswered, why couldn't he be a City centre-back?
17. Nothing Sacred - The badge changes yet again, the team colours change. Grumbling old men mutter as they head off in to the distance. Slow fade to black. Must all be a metaphor for something. I never do get art house flicks.
18. Up at the Villa - Brian dusts off another story of the good old days. There's a lot to be learnt by experience y'know.
19. The Next Best Thing - It's two that go up. That's the cry as the Championship slips beyond view. It's all about promotion not big daft trophies.
20. That Obscure Object of Desire - and who knows what the bloody shield looks like anyway? It'd only clutter the place up, get in the way, collect dust. Bungle would only strain something trying to lift it, better to leave it.